I bought a house the moment my divorce settlement was signed. One of the first decisions I had to make after closing was what color to paint the walls. Simple, right?

Well it held me up for two weeks.

The walls in our previous homes had always been blue, beige, or gray. Blue is even my favorite color. But none of that felt right anymore. The kids knew exactly what they wanted, so I had their rooms painted while I sat with my therapist trying to figure out why I was stuck on something so small.

Here’s what I figured out. Over the years, I’d been decorating around his preferences. If he didn’t like it, it didn’t happen. My vision had slowly been overwritten by his, and somewhere along the way I’d lost myself. I’d been living as an extension of him for so long that I didn’t know what I actually wanted anymore.

That realization hit me hard. Like, really hard.

And then one day, the answer came. The color was pink! Not the neutral calm of blue and gray. But pink and gold, with pictures and decorative accents. Lively and inviting. Mine.

That one small decision was the first step on a long journey back to myself. I’m still on it. Still learning, growing, changing directions. But every time I do, I do it confidently.

Because whatever I decide, it’s my decision to make.