Why so difficult? Why so hard? Why so self-defeating?

There is a codependency that exists and has only been brought to light through separation. Who am I? A wife. His wife. Their mother. Her friend. A student. An employee. Yes. But WHO am I?

Somewhere along the way, I attached my identity to his. In his absence, there’s a void I need to be filled to make myself whole. I thought it was a marital void that’s was left open by the absence of my husband. And a voice that SHOULD be filled by my spouse. There’s not a spiritual void. It’s relational.

Absent the relationship, there is now an identity void. Who am I? What is my purpose? What value do I hold? What do I have to offer the world?

My value became caught up with his. People don’t value me as an individual. But as a member of Team Him + Me, I am great! Or at least that’s how if feels. So he is gone. Now what? How do I put myself back together in such a manner that I am okay not being a wife. Not being his wife?